thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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