Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
