I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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