i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
