i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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