just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Even my vagina gasped.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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