Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
