he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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