My hair reeks of homosexuality.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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