He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize