nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Randomize
