whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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