What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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