I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
