oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Couch. On fire.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
