in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
