Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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