Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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