His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we made out on top of his cat.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
