i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
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