she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
