i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
