What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
