Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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