At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize