haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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