your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Small penises have feelings too.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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