I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
