I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
