Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
