I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
