i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
