at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
BRING THE BAGELS
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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