Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
