i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
