I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The beer is more important than you right now.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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