you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
