Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
