youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
