Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
