We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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