you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
