Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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