I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
