When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
