Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
