We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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