That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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