He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
