We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
