I think my vagina is haunted
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Floor bacon is actually really good
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
