We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You made out with two different species that night
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
