great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
