your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
