A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
