Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
