Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
