I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
