the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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