Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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