I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Everyone says I win the strip club
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
